


Pockets

by YaoiYasmin



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, For the most part, Imaginative title is imaginative, M/M, Not Beta Read, drabble (pretty much?), very light spideypool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:26:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2281746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaoiYasmin/pseuds/YaoiYasmin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deadpool comes to startling realisation.</p><p>(And im really bad at coming up with summaries for these things)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pockets

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: i dont own the characters or make money off of this.

“Spidey, I'm home!” 

Peter turned sharply to face the other man, annoyed at how long it had taken him to show up. “We're not inside. And we don't live together.” He grumbled, gesturing to the rooftop they were stood on. 

“Aw, don't be like that baby- Wait.” Deadpool stopped, holding his body comically mid-step; one leg in the air. He stared at the hero. “You...you called me.” 

Peter groaned. They didn't have time for this! “Yes. Thanks for coming. And for pointing out the obvious. Now lets go!” 

Before he could reach the edge of the roof, his arm was roughly grabbed. Deadpool swifly turned him around. “Wait! You called me. On a phone...” Peter raised an eyebrow at him from under his mask, hoping the merc could feel his exasperation. Deadpool stared at the hero, his face uncomfortably close. He gripped Peters shoulders, looking so serious the hero started to worry. 

“Where do you put it?”

For a moment, they just stood unmoving. 

“I- What?” 

Deadpool jumped back, his hands on his head. “Oh my God. Oh em gee! You have pockets, don't you! Spandex pockets!” He exclaimed. He began running excitedly around Peter, babbling all the while to his “boxes” about possible pocket places. 

Back in front of him, Deadpool gasped loudly. He lifted shaking hands to his mouth and whispered. “Its your boobies, isn't it?” 

Peters jaw dropped. “My what?”

“Your boobies, Spidey! Those booby pecks of yours! I knew they looked too squishy and perfectly shaped. They're padding, aren't they? Sexy, squishy lies to hide your pockets!” 

Peter gritted his teeth. “Wade. My pecks are real, you know they are. This is ridiculous.” He said slowly. 

“I don't believe you.” Deadpool shouted, promptly grabbing Spiderman's pecks with both hands. 

Peters jaw dropped (which happened far too often when he was with wade), his face burned under his mask and he just knew he was blushing bright red. 

Wade giggled softly, squeezing the muscles. “Well, I guess they are real then!” 

The hero's lips thinned and he narrowed his eyes at the older man. “Well played...” he admitted, then smacked the mercs hands off of him. Ignoring the older mans whining, he made his way to the edge of the roof. “Come on, idiot. We've wasted enough time.” 

Deadpool spent the rest of their patrol together coming up with wild and obscure theories about where he could be keeping his phone. Peter refused to tell him the truth.

It was best he didn't know about the pockets in his webshooters; who knew what he'd find in them if he did? 

\--  
Alternate ending.  
–

Peter suspiciously checked his surroundings. When he was sure no one was around to see him, he carefully slipped his phone out of the padding over his arse. 

Gripping the phone tightly, he whispered ominously. “He can never know...”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Also, i nearly called this "dem titties gurl"


End file.
